A Whiff of Asshole

We are watching an old Masterpiece Theater drama with Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson currently.  The film is called “Fortunes of War” and begins in Romania in 1939. It is the first time I ran into both Branagh and Thompson. Loved her and seriously disliked him. The reason is very simple: he is a consummate actor and convinced me that he really was an asshole, not just played one. The bookend to this is the Wallender series currently being aired, and he convinces me that he is a ragged out Swedish cop. I love the guy.

I got to thinking about assholes and who is and who plays one well. Won’t go into names but there are several real ones around, several poseurs and some that couldn’t be one if they tried.

Sally just got good news about a grant she worked hard to get about the time I was being amazed at what an asshole Branagh played. This grant will enable her enhance the college experience for minority males, and she is excited about getting it. I am not. She already works very hard and this just piles on more. I groused about it when she was writing it and again the other night when the word came through. The next morning I finally figured out I was wrong from the get-go. I forgot my own advice not to pick up someone before they fall. (http://searchesworld.blogspot.com/search?q=angel+flying+to+close+to+the+ground ). I think I rained on her parade by being an insensitive asshole. Her job; her grant; her faculty. I care deeply that she works too hard, and she takes on more,  with a smile and determination to do the best possible for everyone, usually students. I am deeply afraid that “Woody 7.2” is vectoring towards assholedom. Or maybe I am just realizing I’ve been here for a long time. Maybe time for corrective action.
My point? Take a good long look at yourself and see where your vector is going. And if you get even a whiff of asshole, turn around and smell the roses instead.

Image: http://www.movieforum.com/movies/titles/muchadoaboutnothing/images/emmaken.jpg

Angel Flying too Close to the Ground (a revision of the post from yesterday)

Just got back from a great vacation in Oregon, and a few tales are coming from there. Here is one. We were drinking a nice beer and listening to a roving solo singer. Sal liked his voice and songs and I was less impressed. There was a line in one song that stuck in my mind. The line was the voice of a woman: "...don't pick me up before I fall..." So simple. Hit me pretty much between the eyes. I have always been on the lookout for trouble for my partner, and tried to head it off if possible. Sometimes good, sometimes bad strategy. Thinking about this for a few days, and Sal never mentioning it, I realized that I was very guilty of this. And it does them a disservice. It makes them think you don't trust them to either not fall, or not be able to get up by themselves. Worse probably is when you catch and they aren't falling. Not a good vote of confidence.Even saying this is hard because it sounds patronizing. But honest, you gotta trust your partner and let them fall (at least when the consequences aren't deadly) and be there if they need you. It is my nature to protect. But like when you raise kids, you gotta let them make their own mistakes. Let them fall off the bike a few times.
Song link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jfBxfltYD0
Image: flickr.com/photos/jazzyg07/3711439554/