Ever notice how among friends insults become indicators of affection or respect? Like black people calling each other the "N" word? (See, I can be sensitive even though I don't necessarily agree that it is necessary). I was thinking of a friend of mine, long lost to time, named Bob Pell. He was from Scranton, Pa. and brought many tales of that town to Miami. The mix of friends was pretty diverse, and the names we called each other were no doubt insulting sounding to outsiders but were affectionately applied. In the group we had an Italian, a couple of Jews, an Atheist, a Cracker (couldn't tell you what ethnicity he was, only that he was white with lots of freckles). a Polish guy and a German guy (who were also Catholic, thus providing yet another target). The usual epithets flew around the poker table without insult. Bob's nickname was "hose nose" and indeed he did have a prominent protuberance. But the Cracker had a bigger nose and no one even thought to mention it. We called him "Tiger" or "Wino" or just plain "Wine" (Not whine, never). Bob was also called "Nick Pelligrino" , not in an attempt to disguise his Jewish heritage, just to make him more of a gangsta, I suppose. None of us were really gangstas. Another guy was called "Micro" because he told us he had a small dick. We never actually saw it, so maybe it was small. But he was OK with the moniker.
One day somebody asked Hose Nose a deep philosophical question and before he could answer someone said (in a deep prophetic voice) "Who knows what the hose nose knows. (here there was a pause then said slowly) Speak- - - beak." We laughed to tears and from then on "Speak - - - Beak" became a regular part of the patter.
Bob could also spell sounds very convincingly. Make a sound, like a burp for instance, and he would spell it so you could actually reproduce the sound from the word. A genius.
I have often been reminded of these friends and our teasing and often wondered if in later life any of them remembered the great line of sagacity. I also wonder if any remember those days as being brimming with insults, or of comradery like I do. And I wonder where Tiger, Nick, Micro and the rest are.
My nickname? Oh no. I'm not that dumb. (OK, Don Juan, OK?)
Thursday, August 6, 2009
On cooking supper
NPR again. Many American spends 2 hours or more a day watching cooking programs and 30 minutes preparing, cooking,serving and cleaning up for dinner. Now that is pitiful. Cooking "reality" programs have been raised (lowered?) to the level of combat, so I'm told. People say they don't have the time to prepare and enjoy a meal so they default to fast food, pre-prepared dinners or some other shortcut. But they have time to WATCH people cook. Now that makes no sense to me at all. I have enjoyed cooking since I was a sprog. Chef Boyardee got me started at about 11. I enjoy the planning, shopping, cooking, eating and yes even the cleanup. Takes me about 2 hours on average to the dinner on the table. Time well spent. Critical decisions must be made. Timing must be right. Concentration is fairly intense at some stages. The results are usually good. Fresh veggies, fish, meat, sauces, wine. Oh, the wine. Lately I have been using plonk for nearly every meal. Aussie term for cheap but drinkable everyday wine. At 3 bottles for ten bucks we can afford a bottle a day without breaking the budget. Sometimes I raid the wine locker for a nicer vintage label. A chewy Pinotage with prime rib, or a subtle Sauvignon Blanc with a grilled coho fillet. Yummm. At the end of most days my accomplishments can be added up on one hand and sometimes on only a few fingers. One of them will be supper.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
New technologies and dinosaurs
Many years I wrote this:
Paleolithic (or something like that):
Since the dawn of our existence a long time ago
we've learned the use of many thing of which we ought not know.
We've a weapon that we never had and words we sometimes use
like loyalty and brotherhood. These we most abuse.
But the weapon (oh, the weapon) will be our fate, our doom
That terrible thing, the sling.
See? Crap really. But even then, and it was about 1960, I was thinking of technology and the devastating effect it can have on life as we know it. Look now. Electronics medicine agriculture all advanced in the last 50 or so years. Some things unbelievable if discussed in 1960. But here we are. Nano this and pico that. And chips, my god the chips. Smaller faster better, every 18 months. (The chip: England's contribution to cuisine).
So when a newish on line tool comes around I think "well, more crap to make crappy teaching no better." I think I have a lock on the truth. But now I don't know. I am playing with a newish technology and it is pretty cool. And there are more to come. I still don't think that a computer screen no matter how interactive can ever take the place of a good classroom. But I am beginning to see the point.
Dinosaurs became birds by a long and random process. Maybe this dinosaur will learn to fly with slightly more grace.
Paleolithic (or something like that):
Since the dawn of our existence a long time ago
we've learned the use of many thing of which we ought not know.
We've a weapon that we never had and words we sometimes use
like loyalty and brotherhood. These we most abuse.
But the weapon (oh, the weapon) will be our fate, our doom
That terrible thing, the sling.
See? Crap really. But even then, and it was about 1960, I was thinking of technology and the devastating effect it can have on life as we know it. Look now. Electronics medicine agriculture all advanced in the last 50 or so years. Some things unbelievable if discussed in 1960. But here we are. Nano this and pico that. And chips, my god the chips. Smaller faster better, every 18 months. (The chip: England's contribution to cuisine).
So when a newish on line tool comes around I think "well, more crap to make crappy teaching no better." I think I have a lock on the truth. But now I don't know. I am playing with a newish technology and it is pretty cool. And there are more to come. I still don't think that a computer screen no matter how interactive can ever take the place of a good classroom. But I am beginning to see the point.
Dinosaurs became birds by a long and random process. Maybe this dinosaur will learn to fly with slightly more grace.
Blaming Obama
I am getting really tired of conservatives of all stripes and some of my old friends who fit that description blaming the Obama administration for the woes of the country. I heard from an old friend last week who had a family member that lost her job after 25 years of loyal work. The layoff occurred in June, and the guy was blaming Obama for it. By my calculation the layoff was 5 months after he took office. No way he could have been a factor.
There are many families, including my own, that are living with increased expenses and reduced earnings. In January when the talking heads were still using the "D" (depression) word lots of us were scared. Then when someone gets laid off in the face of this, the "being scared" becomes real fear. I remember someone defining a recession as when your neighbor is out of work and a depression is when you are out of work. With nearly 400,ooo jobs being lost last month alone, I think "fear" is to be expected. And, unemployment is a lagging indicator, so it will be the last to recover. But recover it will, and America will emerge stronger than ever. Remember Camus " In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" So also is America in a winter, but in us is an invincible summer. Hang in there y'all. We'll get there.
On to a bit of discussion.
The meltdown in the various sectors such as housing, financial, manufacturing and related industries started before Obama took office. They were the product of 8 years (really more than that since Republicans had control of the congress for more than that) of failed policies that de-regulated as much as possible and hoped that the industries would self regulate. They left out at least one important factor in their calculations: greed. During the last 8 years the major operating premise was making as much money as possible by getting as close to the line of disaster as possible. So mortgages were approved for people who couldn't pay them. Then they were "bundled" and sold as an investment commodity. They were rated highly by raters (paid by the folks they were rating for) and when the simple people of this country couldn't pay their mortgage payments the whole thing came apart. This has been going on for at least 8 years and exploded before Obama took office. How can anyone blame him?
Manufacturing has been moving "offshore" for years and jobs have been lost for years as a result. Remember Ross Perot? "The sound you hear is JOBS being sucked out of this country." This substantially weakened our manufacturing sector. So then when a credit crisis hits, the industries that depend on bridge credit can't get it and they go down. Like the giant car makers. Obama's watch. No.
Cars. Bigger is better. Hummmmmm in a Hummer. Drive an SUV. Why? Cost more to buy and drive and insure and you don't need the space. The auto industry was ripe for a fall and fell it did. Hard and far. But the problems that caused it were not on Obama's watch.
Suppose you bought a store that sold clothes and a few days before you were to open it the roof fell in and ruined everything inside. It took months to get the insurance settled and the store repaired and the stock back in. In the mean time you had to lay off some employees. Did they lose their jobs because YOU caused the roof to fail? No, they lost their jobs because the former owner delayed maintenance. His fault not yours. You worked like hell to get things opened and going again and your workers blame you for their joblessness. You know damn well that wouldn't be fair.
Obama is in the same situation. He CAME INTO OFFICE IN A S**T STORM caused by 8 years of failures and he is trying to get the whole country going again.
Don't get me wrong here. I don't like some of the things the current administration is doing and supporting, and some of the things they are doing may not work. But nobody with a brain in their head can BLAME them for the problems. They are trying to find solutions. And by the way, the Republicans are saying "NO" to everything proposed. Most of them even think Clarence Thomas was a better choice than Sotomayor. More HUTA looks like.
If you are offended by my opinions here, I'm truly sorry. But before you get POed at me, stop and think about the causes of all the problems we now face. And you won't see Obama's name on any of those lists.
There are many families, including my own, that are living with increased expenses and reduced earnings. In January when the talking heads were still using the "D" (depression) word lots of us were scared. Then when someone gets laid off in the face of this, the "being scared" becomes real fear. I remember someone defining a recession as when your neighbor is out of work and a depression is when you are out of work. With nearly 400,ooo jobs being lost last month alone, I think "fear" is to be expected. And, unemployment is a lagging indicator, so it will be the last to recover. But recover it will, and America will emerge stronger than ever. Remember Camus " In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" So also is America in a winter, but in us is an invincible summer. Hang in there y'all. We'll get there.
On to a bit of discussion.
The meltdown in the various sectors such as housing, financial, manufacturing and related industries started before Obama took office. They were the product of 8 years (really more than that since Republicans had control of the congress for more than that) of failed policies that de-regulated as much as possible and hoped that the industries would self regulate. They left out at least one important factor in their calculations: greed. During the last 8 years the major operating premise was making as much money as possible by getting as close to the line of disaster as possible. So mortgages were approved for people who couldn't pay them. Then they were "bundled" and sold as an investment commodity. They were rated highly by raters (paid by the folks they were rating for) and when the simple people of this country couldn't pay their mortgage payments the whole thing came apart. This has been going on for at least 8 years and exploded before Obama took office. How can anyone blame him?
Manufacturing has been moving "offshore" for years and jobs have been lost for years as a result. Remember Ross Perot? "The sound you hear is JOBS being sucked out of this country." This substantially weakened our manufacturing sector. So then when a credit crisis hits, the industries that depend on bridge credit can't get it and they go down. Like the giant car makers. Obama's watch. No.
Cars. Bigger is better. Hummmmmm in a Hummer. Drive an SUV. Why? Cost more to buy and drive and insure and you don't need the space. The auto industry was ripe for a fall and fell it did. Hard and far. But the problems that caused it were not on Obama's watch.
Suppose you bought a store that sold clothes and a few days before you were to open it the roof fell in and ruined everything inside. It took months to get the insurance settled and the store repaired and the stock back in. In the mean time you had to lay off some employees. Did they lose their jobs because YOU caused the roof to fail? No, they lost their jobs because the former owner delayed maintenance. His fault not yours. You worked like hell to get things opened and going again and your workers blame you for their joblessness. You know damn well that wouldn't be fair.
Obama is in the same situation. He CAME INTO OFFICE IN A S**T STORM caused by 8 years of failures and he is trying to get the whole country going again.
Don't get me wrong here. I don't like some of the things the current administration is doing and supporting, and some of the things they are doing may not work. But nobody with a brain in their head can BLAME them for the problems. They are trying to find solutions. And by the way, the Republicans are saying "NO" to everything proposed. Most of them even think Clarence Thomas was a better choice than Sotomayor. More HUTA looks like.
If you are offended by my opinions here, I'm truly sorry. But before you get POed at me, stop and think about the causes of all the problems we now face. And you won't see Obama's name on any of those lists.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
On outliving a child. A different perspective
(the source for the somewhat modified scenario below is an NPR program on Autism)
She sat with her head in her hands and said "What would the world think of a mother that wants to out live her child?"
In an earlier posting I wrote that no parent should ever have to bury their child (7/30/09). I was wrong. There is a heartbreaking situation that happens to parents of "special" children, read that as children with developmental or other profound handicaps. Wait a minute now. Don't go off thinking I am talking about infanticide or euthanasia. I am most definitely not. Please read on and see the problem.
The mother quoted above has a teenage autistic child that is unable to care for herself in many ways. She is unable to form new speech, so can't say "I hurt" or "I am hungry" or "I am lost" or anything else. She needs someone to take care of those aspects of her life. Mom is the caregiver. In situations like this, parents carry a profound worry that they will die leaving the child to the capriciousness of the state for care or worse. In other words the question: "Who will take care of and love my child as I do?"
Now with normal (what ever that means) children as they mature they become self-sufficient (more or less). With many special children (who become special adults, but parents usually think of them as children) the degree of self-sufficiency never reaches the level needed for autonomous living. Therefore the worry.
Will this child be thrust out into the world without a chance of survival? Will they be exploited in the most awful of ways? Will they be warehoused until they perish alone afraid sick? Will they die in pain and suffering?
These worries lead parents to the place where they want to be there always for their child, and the only way for this to happen is for the child to die first. As you can imagine the guilt produced in the parent by even thinking this is overwhelming and torturous. But think it they do.
No matter what the sacrifice is, many parents of special needs kids spend 24/7 being sure their child is getting along OK.
Here is the problem. Unless the parent out lives the child, sooner or later the child will be alone and subject to the above mentioned miseries. Ergo the thought and the guilt.
There is no way out for many of these parents either because they won't let go or because there is no safety net where they live. All states have programs for disabled citizens and state sponsored care of one kind or another. The trouble is that the waiting list for services far exceeds the capacity of the states to provide care. So tens of thousands of potential clients are effectively frozen out of any care but family.
Good reasons to hope for a long life for the parent and a shorter one for the child. Try not to judge these parents. Their self recriminations are enough for anyone.
She sat with her head in her hands and said "What would the world think of a mother that wants to out live her child?"
In an earlier posting I wrote that no parent should ever have to bury their child (7/30/09). I was wrong. There is a heartbreaking situation that happens to parents of "special" children, read that as children with developmental or other profound handicaps. Wait a minute now. Don't go off thinking I am talking about infanticide or euthanasia. I am most definitely not. Please read on and see the problem.
The mother quoted above has a teenage autistic child that is unable to care for herself in many ways. She is unable to form new speech, so can't say "I hurt" or "I am hungry" or "I am lost" or anything else. She needs someone to take care of those aspects of her life. Mom is the caregiver. In situations like this, parents carry a profound worry that they will die leaving the child to the capriciousness of the state for care or worse. In other words the question: "Who will take care of and love my child as I do?"
Now with normal (what ever that means) children as they mature they become self-sufficient (more or less). With many special children (who become special adults, but parents usually think of them as children) the degree of self-sufficiency never reaches the level needed for autonomous living. Therefore the worry.
Will this child be thrust out into the world without a chance of survival? Will they be exploited in the most awful of ways? Will they be warehoused until they perish alone afraid sick? Will they die in pain and suffering?
These worries lead parents to the place where they want to be there always for their child, and the only way for this to happen is for the child to die first. As you can imagine the guilt produced in the parent by even thinking this is overwhelming and torturous. But think it they do.
No matter what the sacrifice is, many parents of special needs kids spend 24/7 being sure their child is getting along OK.
Here is the problem. Unless the parent out lives the child, sooner or later the child will be alone and subject to the above mentioned miseries. Ergo the thought and the guilt.
There is no way out for many of these parents either because they won't let go or because there is no safety net where they live. All states have programs for disabled citizens and state sponsored care of one kind or another. The trouble is that the waiting list for services far exceeds the capacity of the states to provide care. So tens of thousands of potential clients are effectively frozen out of any care but family.
Good reasons to hope for a long life for the parent and a shorter one for the child. Try not to judge these parents. Their self recriminations are enough for anyone.
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