My neighbor called the other day with a question about her beaver. I thought “now how does she know I am a Beaver Consultant?” I went over and took a look: Nice. Big too.
My career in beaver consulting got its start when a county recreation manager called and asked if I had any experience with beavers. I told him I had observed them on many occasions and knew something about them. The problem, he said, was with the county swimming lake. At times there were so many beavers visible that nobody wanted to swim. Instead they just walked around trying to get a good look or even a picture of a pretty beaver. I went out and I can tell you there were some fine beavers out there. Eventually we came up with a plan to solve the problem. It turned out that several neighboring counties had similar problems, and I became the “Resident Beaver Expert”.
I heard about another consultant who got a call: “Do you know anything about tits?” Well, he just happened to be a tit expert. The woman told him her tits were not as perky as they had been, and looked sort of dull. She said that she had done everything she could think of, including special vitamins, and nothing seemed to work. After taking a look at them, the expert recommended a diet of sun flower and millet seeds enriched with multivitamins and minerals, and some meal worms if available.
In a few weeks, a follow-up call confirmed that her tits were much perkier, their color was better and they were singing more than before.
(My neighbor’s beaver was a beautiful 3’ carved sculpture of a North American beaver Castor canadensis, and the tits in question were titmice and chickadees, respectively Baeolophus bicolor and Poecile carolinensis)
Additional information on tits can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tit_(bird)
Additional information on beavers can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaver
Image beaver: paradeofflesh.com
Image tits: zazzle.com
My career in beaver consulting got its start when a county recreation manager called and asked if I had any experience with beavers. I told him I had observed them on many occasions and knew something about them. The problem, he said, was with the county swimming lake. At times there were so many beavers visible that nobody wanted to swim. Instead they just walked around trying to get a good look or even a picture of a pretty beaver. I went out and I can tell you there were some fine beavers out there. Eventually we came up with a plan to solve the problem. It turned out that several neighboring counties had similar problems, and I became the “Resident Beaver Expert”.
I heard about another consultant who got a call: “Do you know anything about tits?” Well, he just happened to be a tit expert. The woman told him her tits were not as perky as they had been, and looked sort of dull. She said that she had done everything she could think of, including special vitamins, and nothing seemed to work. After taking a look at them, the expert recommended a diet of sun flower and millet seeds enriched with multivitamins and minerals, and some meal worms if available.
In a few weeks, a follow-up call confirmed that her tits were much perkier, their color was better and they were singing more than before.
(My neighbor’s beaver was a beautiful 3’ carved sculpture of a North American beaver Castor canadensis, and the tits in question were titmice and chickadees, respectively Baeolophus bicolor and Poecile carolinensis)
Additional information on tits can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tit_(bird)
Additional information on beavers can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaver
Image beaver: paradeofflesh.com
Image tits: zazzle.com
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