A newly discovered physical/anatomical disorder is called blurred groin syndrome or BGS. Men have wondered for years why the shape of some men’s “junk” was obvious even through clothing, while others could wear anything for jeans to Speedos and still not have that “come and get it” look. Now we know the answer to this perplexing problem: BGS. That’s right; there is something about the anatomical and electrophasic distribution of the body’s meridia that cause a blurring of the groin area, resulting in a nearly invisible set of genitalia. This syndrome was confirmed inadvertently as comedian Dave Barry was directed by TSA into a pat-down room because the full body scanner could not image his “package” (1). He was told he had a blurred groin. It seems that this strange combination of anatomical and electrical phenomena affects not only the retinal imaging of genitalia but also the X-ray imaging.So after years of carrying equivalent junk and getting ignored by everyone, men finally have an answer: BGS. Laboratories around the world are currently at work to provide a drug to relieve the symptoms of BGS. Early tests of one drug showed great promise: mice that have notoriously blurred groins were given a two week course of experimental drug “X”, and were observed to have rat-sized genitals! Who Knew? The drug is scheduled to move directly to phase three trials because many of the top regulators in the country have been accused of not having any balls and they want to prove that they have. We shall all see very soon.
(Secret research for this breaking news report is secret, so don’t ask. It is, however, copyrighted)
Image: http://www.aclu.org/files/images/client/BodyScanner.jpg (note that the gun is easliy seen, but the "junk" is invisable!)
1. http://www.npr.org/2010/11/15/131338172/humorist-dave-barry-and-the-tsa
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