Love, Actually

I was writing to a friend this morning and had occasion use the following: “Sometimes in nature you end up with a bluebird of happiness, and sometimes you end up with a killer flesh eating bacteria. Both good in their own niche.”

Now as I think back on this idea I am reminded of all the controversies that rage over Evolution. Change Over Time. Nothing terribly difficult to understand at the basic level. A process that goes ahead without benefit of plan, just relying on the latent survivability of each individual.

This is exactly what I believe is at work in relationships. Two people meet and the evolution of each separately and both together begins. Often without a plan, and entirely dependent on the latent survivability of each. Each of us brings strengths and weaknesses into the mix, and then they compete for survival. Sometimes the best “traits” make it, and sometimes the “worst”. We usually don’t openly compete for ascendance, sometimes but not usually. We just do our individual and collective best to reach the goal of mutual love, understanding and longevity of relationship. In the “doing” the traits each of us bring to the table work and wiggle for a place, and the end result, which I think never really ends until death do you part, hopefully is a wonderful blend of the best of both. Hopefully.

The friend I was writing to this morning and her partner has achieved a level of blend that is sustainable and good. The only continuous caution I would add is this: evolution moves ahead in time without a plan, and in relationships one needs to be mindful of the changes that are always occurring and evolve with them. Otherwise, boom, no relationship.

Image: http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02133/swansHeart_2133563i.jpg