Thank You

Not too hard to say, after all, is it? Thank you.
Say it when a wait person (PC again - don’t you hate it sometimes?) fills your water glass, or when the arm at McDonalds drive through hands you your bag of goodies. When you get change at a convenience store or when you get your parcel at a store, say “Thank You”. It really doesn’t take much energy or effort to be polite.
Thankfulness comes in many forms and from many directions. During these very trying days of local regional worldwide problems there are many things I am thankful for. Putting aside the angst of the past for a moment, let me just observe this: every day I wake up in my home, next to my wonderful wife, looking forward to the day I am thankful. Not to any particular source, not to any specific power that/who has granted me the day. To the farmers, truckers, sailors, merchants, construction workers, doctors of people and animals, teachers, police, fire fighters, public employees, students, engineers of all stripes, veterans, soldiers, talkers, listeners, readers and the list goes on. Each of us is beholden to these often faceless and nameless people who make our lives a bit better and safer.
I got a hug from a homeless guy in Boston for a small donation. I gave him less than the cost of a pint of good beer, and got a hug. “Thank you man”, he said. I told him “No, thank You for the hug.” As was said in Dances with Wolves, “good trade”.
So for the moment, put aside the angst and worry, and just say “Thank you” to whomever you want. Give somebody a hug. It really feels good, and it goes a long, long way in a world weary of angst.
Image: http://images.mylot.com/userImages/images/postphotos/2171375.jpg

No Guts, No Balls

This morning I heard a well presented rational discussion of the origins of the current “debt crisis”. Not surprisingly the conclusions of conservative and liberal analysts were consistent with common sense: The initiation of two wars without any revenue increase to cover the costs, and the massive tax cuts which failed to stimulate the creation of jobs to cover the reduced income to the Federal Government are the direct causes of the ballooning debt. The legacy of these two actions remains with us today. Further, they agreed that if the Bush era tax cuts are not allowed to sunset on schedule, an additional minimum of 2.5 trillion dollars in debt will be piled up in the next ten years. That is IN ADDITION to the already substantial increase projected as a result of the weak economy.
The causes and results are clear, and the action needed to correct the problem is also clear: cut spending where possible, increase taxes from the current low rate to higher rates, and let the tax cuts expire.
The problem is this: congress doesn’t have the will to act. “Why” is a more problematic question. I think the answer lies in the corrupt relationships between members of congress and the very powerful financial interests that fund their reelections in the case of people like the Koch brothers, or threaten to oppose them in the case of Grover Norquist and his ilk. In other words, many in congress have no balls, no guts and no concern for the electorate. Only themselves and their handlers.
What a sad and poor way for a wonderful country to fail.
Image: http://www.lpstuff.com/shop/images/uploads/535congressmen.JPG

Sexual Abuse of Children. Again

It has probably always happened, is happening and probably will always happen. That doesn’t make it right. It is always wrong. WRONG. Get it? Wrong.
My thoughts on what should be done to those adults who abuse children are not the point here. I have very strong views on that, and may talk about them at a later time.
No, my point here is based on the attorney interviewed the other day msnbc. This guy represents at least one victim of the Penn State scandal. And here, in a nutshell, is my issue: the victim is expressing feelings of guilt about the effect of his revelations on the football program. ON THE FOOTBALL PROGRAM!!!. This man, once a child who was abused is worried about the god damn football program when his life has been indelibly changed by a predator when he was 10 or so years old. He and many others were repeatedly raped and fondled by this predator. He is the victim. Guilt for victims of sexual abuse goes with the territory and it is hard to deal with. But come on people. Guilt for the football program?
Ahh. But I understand this, I think. I have had many friends over the years, and some now, who think the football programs of their chosen Universities, not necessarily one they attended, are somehow the most important aspect their lives. They hang on every game, every play, every utterance of the coaches and players. They don’t seem to care when massive numbers of players get arrested for felony crimes, or when coaches ignore cheating scandals while at the same time milking the academics of millions of dollars. (I know, the old “Football is a profit center” crap. Personally I don’t buy it but that too is for another time.) The coach gets millions and the President of the University gets a few hundred thousand. Bullcrap.
Football becomes so important that anything that might threaten it brings on anger and guilt. Comments like letting JoePa finish the season make me sick. How many children were abused because JoePa failed to protect them? Finish the season my ass. He should have been shot. (Ooops. Shouldn’t let my emotions out.)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45286628/ns/today-today_people/
Image: http://www.sexualfuturist.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/child-abuse2.jpg

Beat them, Train them: God wants you to do This.

I just watched the video of Hillary Adams getting the beating she “deserved”, to quote her father, JUDGE Adams.
No Child deserves this level of punishment. This isn’t punishment in the sense of a spanking: this is torture. Time and again he hits her HARD in the legs, arms back and butt. Hard. Over and over.
Michael Pearl and his wife wrote the book “To Train Up a Child” which advocates hard punishment from the beginning to “train up a child” as God intended. Switching a 6 month old for discipline. Don’t spare the rod. Is there a connection between Adams and Pearl? I don’t know, but they obviously believe in the same way of “training up” a child.
I suggest all these monsters get picked up for child abuse and that we “train them up” using the same methods they advocate and practice. Who will give the first lick?
BTW, you can order “To Train Up a Child” on Amazon.com for only $7.95. Here is one of many similar reviews:

"My mother was given this book while I was a child. Wanting to raise a well-behaved child, she would spank me with a belt. She is proud of me. I am a senior at Princeton University and practicing Catholic. However, today my mother would tell you that I am these things in spite of the teachings of "To Train Up a Child," in spite of the self-loathing and insecurity caused by whippings which would not end until I could pretend to be content. Pretend to embrace the necessity for my own torture. I was abused. Please do not look to this book for guidance."

What the hell is this country coming to when this 'how to torture your child' crap is sold on Amazon? It is all about the money. Period.

Read this for fun: http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/pastor-corporal-punishment-advice-scrutinized-child-deaths-160004793.html
Image: http://thedamnedoldeman.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/300px-Sexually_Abused_boy.jpg

Just another brick in the wall?

Years ago a revolution was upon us. We were out in the streets. We were arrested, gassed, beaten, spit on and worse. We were killed by our own brothers. We won. We were no more than more bricks in the wall. But we won.
Another wall, more bricks in the wall, and another revolution. We are out in the streets. We are arrested, gassed, beaten, spit on and worse. We may be killed by our brothers. We are no more that more bricks in the wall. But we can win. We will win. We are the bricks that the wall is made of, and without us, no wall at all. We are everywhere. We will win.
Pink Floyd: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZbM_MIz4RM
Roger Waters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqtNvgzWsis&feature=player_detailpage
Image: http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt2zlkhZ0c1r0wenlo1_500.png

Word Creep: Lame, Gay and Asshole

I got my tail good and yanked by a friend the other day. I used the term “lame” as in “that was a lame excuse”. She pointed out in no uncertain terms that lame means “unable to walk normally”. So of course I looked it up (1) and found the above definition. I also found another definition, this from the Urban Dictionary: just plain stupid, un-original, or lifeless (2). This is the way I had used the word.
Now I didn’t and don’t want to get into a pissing contest with her for a couple of reasons. She is a published author and knows more about using words than I ever will. She has MS and is lame in the first sense and crippled in the same sense. Not handicapped, mind, just crippled by MS. Another reason is I respect her opinion and agree that the creep of meaning can lead to ugly connotations for words. “Gay” once meant happy, then crept to meaning “homosexual” and then became pejorative, so now when you say you had a gay time, what exactly do you mean?
You see, being Gay (also a girl’s name) is OK to be as in “He is a Gay”. But saying something is “Gay” can be an insult depending on what you mean and even who said it. Confused yet?
My point is this: over time, the meaning of many words has changed. Some end up keeping one, two, three or more meanings while others simply lose one and gain another. During the transition from one to another there is sometimes some dangerous language to navigate. And not all of us are that good at navigating. I apologized for the inappropriate use of the word “lame” and promised to be good. My other point is this: words change meaning all the time and not everyone is aware of the prejudice that sometimes comes with the changes.
So here is my recommendation: Don’t use words that have double meanings, especially those that might hurt someone inadvertently. Many words have multiple meanings, and that is the problem. Selecting the word and using it correctly may be impossible, since meaning remains firmly in the brain of the beholder. After all, we all need an asshole, and most of us have an asshole, but none of us want to be an asshole. See?

1. Google definitions
2. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=lame
Image: http://www.archiedunlop.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/uranus1.jpg

Last Man Standing

Murph. Depue. Max. Anne. Janet. Linda. Wendy. Me.
The core gang. We hung around and got ready for life. We made mistakes, had fun, got in trouble, got drunk together, fished, drove, skated, swam, laughed, cried a little sometimes. The heady days of high school. There were others in and out of our gang, but the core of guys was pretty tight. The girls were on and off girlfriends and mostly just friends.
The missing: Linda, Janet and Wendy.
The dead: Murph, Depue, Max and Anne.
The survivor: Me.
When we sat around the fire on the beach, or in the snow on the pond, or in the basement or in the “Apple Tree”, every once in a while someone would ask “I wonder who will be last?” I can now answer that question: Me.
The missing may be living or dead. Women change names and get hard to find, and in the ramp up for the 50th reunion serious looking happened. Some of the class of ’58 just dropped off the radar. Missing and presumed married.
So, effectively, I am the lone survivor of that august group. Occasionally I lift a glass or have a thought about those days and those friends. My job is to remember them. My guess is that most of the gang is remembered by their families or other friends, but who knows the fun and sometimes dark tales of us collectively? No one. Just me. So it may be time to write more tales of those days and those friends. Some are not so pretty. Some are already written. Some, a few, never will be.
Image:http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/26/And_Then_There_Were_None_US_First_Edition_Cover_1940.jpg

Celebrate Life and Death

An old friend died a few days ago and I should be happy!!!
When did you ever hear a conversation start that way? Probably never is my guess. But wait and think a moment: She was in great discomfort and pain for the last several months of her life. She had strong core religious convictions that guaranteed her a place in Heaven (hers) and she is no longer suffering. Why shouldn’t we be happy for her? Her religious friends believe that she is in a far better place than here, and with their God, whatever that means. And I believe she had a good life lived well and at the end was very sick and suffered and had no hope of recovery.
So why shouldn’t we be happy for her?
We are sad to lose a good friend sister aunt cousin, but the feeling of relief on her behalf should overtake those feelings and replace them with a sense of all is now well with her.
So celebrate the life of the departed, remember the good times and laugh at the foibles, but don’t be sad. Be happy.
By any measure, she is.

Image: http://www.jjchandler.com/tombstone/

Lady Anne de Bivalve Part Two

Lady Anne de Bivalve died last night after a long and unsuccessful battle with cancer. Her actual name was Anne Schwiebert, and got the “Lady Ann” moniker from years of working at the Horton Point Light House for the Southold Historical Society (http://www.southoldhistoricalsociety.org/lighthouse.htm) as a docent and board member. She was instrumental in saving the structure and turning it into the fine museum it is today. She was called “The Lady of the Lighthouse”. She was also addicted to clamming in the pond behind her house, thus the “Bivalve”.
We went back all the way to 1950 and grew into teenagers together. Never boyfriend/girlfriend, always just friends. Her father was a fairly prominent radiologist with a very healthy sense of humor. I remember one time I was having trouble with my hotrod and she and her dad were across the street raking leaves. I called her and asked her to come over to help me check my spark plug wires. Her father started laughing, knowing what was coming next. I put the wire in her hand and told her to tell me if she could feel anything, and hit the starter. She flew back on her ass, and was not amused. Her father and I were very amused. Just a practical joke and she took it well. It was one of those things that you keep coming back to when you meet up in later life.
She was an artist and weaver and sailor, and a passionate lover of light houses. She always thought of light houses as safe harbors, safe places.
Rest in peace, Lady de Bivalve. You are in a very safe place. And you are missed.

Image: http://toddatteberry.com/New-York/East-End-of-Long-Island/Horton-Point-Lighthouse-and/779295843_f3P3C-L-1.jpg

WTF?

Here is an interesting story: Mississippians will vote soon on Prop 26 which defines a fertilized egg as a person. That means killing a fertilized egg is murder. So no IUD’s please, and no termination of tubal pregnancies thank-you-very-much, and no morning after pills, and of course no abortions of any kind for any reason. Why? Because we want to get Government out of our businesses and our lives, except we want Government to control all aspects of a woman’s reproductive process.
Men want this badly for some reason. And for the life of me I don’t know why women fall in line and help these sick bastards pass dangerous and misogynous crappy laws. Are women just so docile that they say “Yes Sir!!” to any man that wants to regulate her reproduction? Why not just vote in Sharia Law and be done with it.
Two things piss me off today: Democrats by NOT VOTING put Republicans in office. Women by not THINKING and VOTING put men in charge of their bodies.
As an Aussie friend once said “WTF Mate?”
Image: http://images.paraorkut.com/img/funnypics/images/w/wtf_mate-12876.jpg