Why Does Woody Write?

Christmas  in Italy, 2011

This question has been percolating in my brain for a week or more. I checked the stats just now: 658 posted essays and 30 drafts in waiting. The total number of “views” is just over 31400 and counting at a rate of about 1100 per month. Wow. That is a lot of writing and a bunch of reading.

So why does Woody write? Well, the simple answer probably is a list of verbs of one kind or another: learn, teach, inform, illuminate, amuse, reveal and more. The list is long I think. As I have heard other writers (is it hubris to refer to myself as a “writer”?) say, I write for myself, to help solidify my thoughts, or to unravel tangled memories and emotions. I read back over old essays occasionally and wonder what was on my mind when I wrote that, or, damn, that’s good. Bet you couldn't do it again you old fraud.

I write to remember, about people and places and things and relationships. I am now constructing an essay about a rather dark time in my teens, and waited until all the other principles were dead to publish for fear of hurting someone who was close to the events. I find that writing is a purgative of sorts as well. Getting thoughts on “paper” (funny, isn’t it how we still talk about writing on paper and making “carbon copies” of stuff?) allows me to process the daemons and angels in a positive way, and to seek and grant forgiveness.

And of course I write in the hopes that someone will read. And benefit somehow. Well, that part seems to have worked out. Thirty-one Thousand and change is a huge number of reads, and if only half of the hits were actually read, well that is a big number too. But what is surprising is the very few responses. Very few discussions were started when I was trying to provoke. Very few “bullshit” retorts when I was trying to clarify my view of truth. Very few responses. None of the essays have gone viral. Or even sent on to others as best as I can tell.

Why do I write? To write. And later so I can read about my wanderings if I forget.

Thanks for reading my stuff. I know you do.

Image: 

Which is More Disgusting? Daemons or Cannibals?

Lucifer: Just another Angel, only fallen

Just days after my essay, “Religious Freedom for All or Some” (1) was published, the following article appeared on the cnsnews.com website (2). The gist is this: A Satanist church has booked a Satanic Black Mass to take place at the Oklahoma City Civic Center on Sept. 21. The Catholic Church feels threatened and outraged and wants the event canceled. The Civic Center says it is a public forum, and therefore anyone can rent it for any lawful purpose. And don’t forget that the Supreme Court of the Land has said that religious practices are lawful. End of argument. The snippets below are from the cnsnews.com article with my comments in brackets:

Oklahoma City Archbishop Paul Coakley condemned the proposed anti-Catholic ritual on July 1 and called on city officials there to cancel the event.  [the archbishop wants to hold Catholic rituals, but doesn’t want other religions to hold their rituals]

Leonine Exorcism prayer. “On that day, I, in the Cathedral, and every priest in his own parish, will pray a special prayer written by Pope Leo XIII for the defense of the Church against the attack of the Enemy and his apostate angels.” [this is a prayer to exorcise deamons, in this case, to protect against the Deamon Baphomet, or Satan, and to get the Civic Center to cancel the show]

Naju after bread turned to bloody flesh

Pope Francis elevates the Eucharist, or communion host, which Catholics believe is, once consecrated, the actual body and blood of Jesus Christ under the appearance of bread. [and in other news, the Catholic Church practices anthropophagy, or, cannibalism, which many people find disgusting and would like to outlaw]

So who is the hypocrite here? Watch your answer, it may be wrong.

1.http://searchesworld.blogspot.com/2014/08/religious-freedom-for-all-or-some.html

2. http://cnsnews.com/news/article/michael-w-chapman/catholic-bishop-stop-satanic-mass-orgiastic-ritual-pain-and

Image: http://www.zbrushcentral.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=54303

Image: http://www.ourlady.ca/pictures/najumouth.jpg

Cars, Dads and Wives.

Not Mine, but Close. 

A commentator on NPR (1) yesterday was talking about boys bonding with fathers with a car as the, no pun intended, vehicle. Got me thinking about my generation, pre-boomer, high school in the 50’s, and my first car at 12. That was a 1933 Pontiac 4 door sedan with running boards and duel spare tires on the front fenders. Straight 8. Eighty horsepower. Of course I couldn't drive it on public roads, so the farm roads were my world. I made an oval track on about an acre and raced around it for hours. Turned it on its side a few times but nothing major. Of course no seat belts or other safety gizmos. Mechanical brakes. Five gallon gas can in the back seat for a gas tank. Unsecured. I was lucky I didn’t burn myself to death.

Then, when I was 16, I bought the 49 Ford convertible. Saved up from paper routes and produce boy at Penn Fruit, and paid $250 for it. Beautiful hot rod.  V8, Crestline chrome, Carson top, custom grill, custom interior in black and white, skirts, nosed, decked, lowered, duel Stromberg 97s, milled heads, Mallory ignition and wicked pipes. Red. I spent days of time working on it. Over the next three years I replace or rebuilt 9 transmissions, 3 rear ends and 3 drive shafts. The drive train was just not up to the power delivered by the reworked engine, or the drag racing moron behind the wheel. But Oh My did I have fun in that car. Drunk driving, girl hunting, buddy racing, rumbling with a few gangs from out of town, driving to Florida, pissing off Mr. Canosa, the Assistant Principal at Roslyn High.

Driving, always driving. But no bonding. My father knew cars, but worked almost all the time. He would occasionally offer some advice, usually good, but never got with me on a project. We worked some together in the summers, and fished together some as well. We had one of those father-son things that didn't include much touching. So I could relate to the guy on the radio about cars, but not about dads. Still, I had a kick-ass car and a good father. When the Ford finally gave up in 1959, he helped me buy a 1959 Chevy 2 door post coupe. Basic with a 283 V8. Blue. Good transportation but never the “flash” of the Ford.

Same year, model and color. Not mine.

From there, the auto odyssey moved to a series of rebuilds that included a ’61 Ford convertible, a TR-3, a ’64 Thunderbird, a Datsun 1500, a ’66 Dodge Charger, a ’68 Roadrunner, a ’66 Olds coupe, a ’34 Ford Vicky, a ’49 Packard and a ’52 Plymouth, not in that order. Probably a few others I have forgotten.

But none ever approached or surpassed the ’49 convertible. One of these days I may get another oldie and play mechanic. But age is a funny thing. Desires and wants sometimes are transient, and what seems like a good idea today seems a bit silly tomorrow. But Sally never really knows what I may come home with. The beauty of Sally is this: whatever car I might come home with, she would accept, if not love, and what more could a man ask? Thing is, with Sally, what else do I really need?

Image:http://image.streetrodderweb.com/f/images/10979708+w195/0812sr_44_z+goodguys_ppg_nationals+1949_ford_convertible.jpg
Image:
http://www.boldride.com/image/http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8514/8504948408_a1e028c194_o.jpg?width=1024&height=770

1. http://www.npr.org/2014/08/05/338099738/complicated-cars-put-a-dent-in-an-old-father-son-ritual

Religious Freedom for All or Some?

One Logo of the United Church of Christ

Should a church and a pastor have the Religious Right to perform any ceremony within their own religion? Of course, you say. Shouldn’t the Catholic Church have the right to perform Exorcisms of Daemons, even though many people don’t believe in daemons? Shouldn't a Baptist Church have the right to perform Submersion Baptism even though it is potentially dangerous and could lead to infection and heart attack? Shouldn't many Christian churches have the right practice communion when they openly state they are feeding human body parts  to people which is illegal?

Of course, you say. So what about the United Church of Christ in North Carolina (1) that wants to perform their Sacrament of Marriage ? Of course, you say. Ah, but they want to marry same sex couples, and the State of North Carolina forbids the marriage of same sex couples.

See the problem? Religious Freedom either is or it isn’t a Right. If it is a right for some, it is a right for all. If not for all, then not for any. This is a very sticky problem for people with fundamentalist mind sets. They (maybe you?) cleave to the belief that only they have the right to do and say what they want, but others do not. They use their versions of Holy Scriptures to support their opinions and distortions.

Well people, it is probably time to get to the point of the Constitution and the Guarantee of Religious Freedom. Either it is, or it isn’t. And, the Supreme Court of the Land  said it is. Therefore it is. Period. And that means that backward and ignorant states like North Carolina are living in a bubble of prejudice. And that bubble will break, thanks in part to the United Church of Christ. Right on Brothers. If I were a believer, I would certainly follow you guys. Thanks.

Image: http://www.gsucc.org/GoodShepardChurch/files/ae/ae215ec3-b89f-4ed2-84ff-f5c4ad5d4586.jpg

1. http://www.thestate.com/2014/05/02/3423008/united-church-of-christ-sues-over.html

Retire: To Tire Again or, First Magnitude BullShit!

You know as in “Hey Babe, I am gonna re-tire the truck”.  Right? Yeah, maybe somewhere. Or maybe to get TIRED again as in “Hey Babe, after all them ribs and beer, I am tired as a whipped possum, again.”

No, here is the actual derivation:

“1590s, "act of retreating," also "act of withdrawing into seclusion," (1) So, when you “retire” you withdraw into seclusion, right? You leave the field. You retreat. You vanish without a trace. Well partners, that is really BullShit. Of the first magnitude.

Having worked and hopefully enjoyed most of the time doing so, you change directions and move out! You get busy with all kinds of crap you didn't have time for during the “career” years. You sleep less, work more, play more, move more (if you know what’s good for you) and you just plain boogie. Retreat my ass. I had a friend many years ago, Gus, who had a simple motto: Always move your piece forward. Another way to put it is to never give out and never give in, but, you can change your mind (2).

Changing your mind is what retirement is, or should be, about. For an entire career, decisions are made within the framework of the career. Retirement equals no career and no framework. So decide one day to go to the beach, and on the way change your mind and have a burger and a pitcher of IPA instead. Now that, pals, is what Retirement is all about.

BRING IT ON, BABY, BRING IT ON!!!

Image: http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-retire-on-3.png

1. http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=retirement 

2. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/billyjoel/shesalwaysawoman.html

Tom Petty: Fraud? Not a CHANCE!!!

        

“You just want to be as wonderful as everyone thinks you are and you know you're not.” (1)

What the Hell? Tom Petty? One of the most enduring performers in the last 40 years is insecure? Yes, and he is not alone. Years ago I wrote a little essay on the Fraud Hypothesis (2) and came out as a fraud. Hey, it’s Ok to be this kind of Fraud. Almost everybody has these moments of “if they only knew” insecurity.

The NPR interview with Melissa Block touched on a lot of aspects of Petty’s career, and if you are a fan you should go to the link below. His line about knowing you are not as wonderful as they think got me straight back to the Fraud Hypothesis. And I thought it was worth a reprise of the idea. And here is why: You are not a fraud unless you actually misrepresent yourself. And since you mostly don’t you are a normal person with normal anxieties who is just getting by. Nothing wrong with that.

So, don’t worry that you will be “found out”. Just go in with the attitude that you will do the best you can do, and be the best you can be, and don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” once in a while. That really gives you credibility, and proves that you are not a fraud.

1. http://www.npr.org/2014/08/04/336608432/tom-petty-on-stage-fright-cheap-speakers-and-george-harrison  

2. http://searchesworld.blogspot.com/2009/10/fraud-fake.html

Image: http://www.culturebully.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/tom-petty-heartbreakers-mojo-cover.jpg