Ok, so you will think I am being a curmudgeon. Not so. Let’s get rid of Christmas first. The day and season specifically celebrated the birth of the Christian savior, Jesus. Nobody can convince me that it is or should be considered a secular holiday. It is pure and simple a religious festival. No doubt “merry merchants” around the world, Christian or not, are quite happy for the season. Many make a large portion of the year’s profit in the run-up to Christmas. For many people and cultures it has morphed into a gigantic sales pitch. Ooops. I have just crossed my own logic. So it really is a secular holiday primarily benefiting the “merry merchants” and banks, and putting many people deeper into debt. And for what? Did Jesus command “Go Out and Buy!!” or “Give Gifts in Memory of Me!”? If you find that in the Bible let me know. It is a bastardized mishmash of events and cultures. I say “Happy Holidays” and take the time off gladly.
On to Santa Claus. Santa is in the same category as the Tooth Fairy. Pure Fiction. An old dude in a sled with flying reindeer who carries all the gifts for the whole world made by elves at the North Pole? Give me a BREAK. This teaches kids that lying is not only ok, but can be fun. Pisses me off for a kid to be thankful to “Santa” for a bike, when her parents went without to buy the damn thing. Given the cachet of a Saint locks Santa into the religious angle of the season; putting him on a can of Coke makes him a shill. Making him a white man, though. What is that all about? Well, he started out as a white man, and as more politically correctness came on the scene people started asking for black Santas, and brown Santas and yellow Santas so children could more easily “relate”. Relate to a lie. Ahh, you ask. But what is the harm?
Listen to the Santa songs and you will quickly see the harm. The below lines are from “Hear Comes Santa Claus” written by Gene Autry:
He’s got a bag that’s filled with toys
For boys and girls again
He doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor
He loves you just the same.
Yeah, but what about the millions of poor kids that hear the song and get nothing from Santa? The drumbeat for Christmas starts in September and ends with a disappointed child, again. Now what about the song “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”?
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout I’m telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town - - -
He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake! O! You better watch out!- - -
Clearly Santa is spying on kids (is he a voyeur?) and making a judgment about what is nice and what isn’t. Big brother is watching you and you won’t get toys if you are bad. Never mind that no one knows exactly what “Bad” is. Just don’t be it. Santa is a kind of behavior Nazi. So in a sense we are teaching kids to be wary, secretive and distrustful. Don’t tell me we are teaching them to be nice. It doesn’t take a fat old man in a funny costume with booze on his breath to teach kids to be nice.
Kids soon figure out or get told that Santa is a lie, and most aren’t traumatized for life. These “innocent” lies just piss me off, that’s all. Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and Sand Man. Sooner or later they all realize they have been lied to.
And what about Jews, Moslems, Wiccans, Jains and the other x-thousands of religions, major and minor? And atheists. Their kids get sucked into the Santa Scandal too. Santa, it’s time to retire and let the world alone. Oh, I forgot. To quote Tom Leher “Angels we have heard on high; Tell us to go out and - - BUY” and “God rest ye merry merchants may ye make the yuletide PAY” (1). It really is too late. We are in the black hole of Christmas and we know the “reason for the season”, don’t we. And it ain’t just a birthday any more.
Another year comes to an end with mixed reviews, but the majority are not very satisfying. Political posturing resulted in little progress on the home front, and crises abroad brought the world closer to collapse. The war in Iraq ended today, that is a good thing, but the war in Afghanistan continues apace. The American economy is in shambles, as is the situation in most of the rest of the world, and the “American Dream” looks remote for many.
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