“What the Hell is Wrong with You People?”

First, let me assure you that I am NOT talking about any particular person or family. That out of the way let me rant on. What I want to know is “What the Hell is Wrong with You People?” Every day I see postings on Facebook and Twitter, and get emails from people about it, and hear about it directly from people.

What is it you ask? Some variant of this: “Yea. I am going to be a grandmother (or grandfather) again!! Isn’t that GREAT?”   Well no, it actually isn’t great. And here is why: The world already has too many people to sustain in the long run, defined as the next 50 – 100 years. Resources are being consumed at a much higher rate than is sustainable: Water, fossil fuels, farm land etc.  Pollution is growing at alarming rates of increase. Wars, famines and plagues abound. Climate is changing so fast that the world as we know it will be lucky to survive the next 50 years.

In other words, the best case scenarios show a bleak picture for the next 5 to 10 decades. Some predict utter ruin. Now, given this likely world, why would anyone want to bring another child into what will certainly be a miserable, dangerous and depleted world? Do you have any idea of the suffering the human population will experience in the next 10 decades? And grandbabies will suffer the most because they will live in it. They will be screwed in so many ways it is almost impossible and unbearable to contemplate. Why would anyone want to have their kin suffer like the next generations are going to suffer?

I know your answer: “Never going to happen". Either 1. God will save us or 2. Science is full of crap and none of this will happen or 3. Maybe in the rest of the world but not here or 4. Some other totally absurd excuse for looking the other way.

Well folks, it will happen, and if God (if there is a god) gave a crap we wouldn’t be in this cesspool, and as for the other excuses, they are all misguided. Science is right about this; it is already happening here and there is no way out.

I therefore repeat: “What the Hell is Wrong with You People?”

Image: http://www.sfgate.com/blogs/images/sfgate/parenting/2007/07/26/SayNo-Babies.png

A Tale of Friends and Baths

Tortoise went down to the pond for a drink one morning, and found Dove lying on the bank with an injured wing. “What happened, Dove?” exclaimed Tortoise! “I was almost caught by a hawk, but she let go and I fell to the ground in the reeds and she couldn’t find me. I am afraid someone will come along and eat me.”

Tortoise thought a minute and said “I have room in my burrow if you would like to rest there until you can fly again.” “Oh Tortoise, thank you. But I could never get there. I am too weak.”

Tortoise thought another minute and said “If you could manage to get on my shell, I will carry you.” So Dove tried and tried, and finally gave up. “I am just too weak to get up that high. Leave me Tortoise, before someone comes along and eats both of us.”

So Tortoise thought for another minute and said “I will dig a hole next to you and you can just step onto my shell. Then we can get you to my burrow and safety." Tortoise scratched a depression next to Dove, and she was able to climb onto his shell.

They finally got to the burrow, and Tortoise said “Dove, roll off and make your way into my burrow. At the end you will find a nest with dry grass, where you can rest and heal. There are some grass heads there for you to eat and I will bring more  Don’t worry, you will be safe with me.” But Tortoise never came back. After a while, Dove was able to fly and she left the burrow.

The following year, Dove was flying to a bird feeder when she saw a small pen in the corner of the yard. She noticed movement and went to see what was moving. To her horror it was Tortoise. “Tortoise”, she cried!!  “I thought you were dead.” “I might as well be dead” he said. “When I was getting some grass heads for you, a boy picked me up and put me in this pen. I have been walking around the wire ever since looking for a way out. I hate being captured.”

Dove thought a minute and said, “I see the latch that keeps the pen closed. Maybe I can pull it open with my claws and wings and free you.” So Dove grabbed the string that held the latch and flew up, pulling the latch as she went. She pulled and pulled, and gradually the latch lifted and the door opened a little. Tortoise pushed his way through the gate and walked into the woods, free after more than a year in captivity. Dove landed on his shell as he walked and said “Now you are free. As you saved me, so I saved you. It is the way with friends, is it not?”

Tortoise thought for a minute and said “Yes Dove. Friends are always there for each other. I can never thank you enough for helping me escape. You are a true friend.” Dove blushed and said “Oh Tortoise, we will always be friends, and we will always look out for each other. Let’s go to the pond for a nice bath and swim!”

And so off they went to the pond, Dove riding on Tortoise's shell, where Tortoise had his first swim in a year and Dove had a well-deserved bath.

Image: http://www.gillsinmalawi.com/Tortoise%20and%20bird.jpg

A Tale of Friendship and Bravery

Unlikely Friends

Hedgehog and Rabbit were walking their children to school one morning, taking care to keep away from each other. Rabbit was overheard telling his children to “keep away from the Hedgehogs. They are NOT our kind of animals.”. Hedgehog overheard that remark and told his children the same thing. All the children were confused, because they sat together in school, and didn’t see any reason not to be friends.

One day on the way home from school, a young Rabbit decided to investigate a new bramble patch, and was cornered by a snake. The snake said “Yummm. You look like DINNER to me”, and was about to strike when a young Hedgehog jumped in front of the rabbit and said “Leave my friend alone, snake. Eat me if you think you can swallow a pincushion!” The snake decided that these young animals were going to be real trouble, and left them alone.

Later, after hearing the story from his daughter, Rabbit knocked on Hedgehog’s door. When Hedgehog saw who was knocking, he slammed the door open and angrily asked “What do YOU want, Rabbit? We have nothing for you here” and was about slam the door shut when his daughter asked Rabbit how his daughter was. “What do you mean?” asked her father. “I helped my friend escape from a snake today on the way home from school, and I just wanted to know how she is doing.”

Hedgehog asked Rabbit to come inside for a minute and both fathers listened to the story with amazement. After young Hedgehog finished her tale, Rabbit looked at Hedgehog and said “I came to thank your daughter for saving mine. I guess even though we are different, we have much in common and much to be thankful for. Do you think we could be friends too?”

Hedgehog agreed that they should get to know each other better, and invited all of Rabbit's family for Sunday Dinner. A good time was had by all, and they all saw that their differences were reasons for joy and wonder, not hatred. Many years later, as they shared Sunday dinner, Hedgehog’s and Rabbit’s great grandchildren were still talking about the day a Hedgehog saved a rabbit from a snake.

Image: http://www.acuteaday.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/hedgehog-with-rabbit-sticking-tongue-out.jpg 

Why Does Woody Write?

Christmas  in Italy, 2011

This question has been percolating in my brain for a week or more. I checked the stats just now: 658 posted essays and 30 drafts in waiting. The total number of “views” is just over 31400 and counting at a rate of about 1100 per month. Wow. That is a lot of writing and a bunch of reading.

So why does Woody write? Well, the simple answer probably is a list of verbs of one kind or another: learn, teach, inform, illuminate, amuse, reveal and more. The list is long I think. As I have heard other writers (is it hubris to refer to myself as a “writer”?) say, I write for myself, to help solidify my thoughts, or to unravel tangled memories and emotions. I read back over old essays occasionally and wonder what was on my mind when I wrote that, or, damn, that’s good. Bet you couldn't do it again you old fraud.

I write to remember, about people and places and things and relationships. I am now constructing an essay about a rather dark time in my teens, and waited until all the other principles were dead to publish for fear of hurting someone who was close to the events. I find that writing is a purgative of sorts as well. Getting thoughts on “paper” (funny, isn’t it how we still talk about writing on paper and making “carbon copies” of stuff?) allows me to process the daemons and angels in a positive way, and to seek and grant forgiveness.

And of course I write in the hopes that someone will read. And benefit somehow. Well, that part seems to have worked out. Thirty-one Thousand and change is a huge number of reads, and if only half of the hits were actually read, well that is a big number too. But what is surprising is the very few responses. Very few discussions were started when I was trying to provoke. Very few “bullshit” retorts when I was trying to clarify my view of truth. Very few responses. None of the essays have gone viral. Or even sent on to others as best as I can tell.

Why do I write? To write. And later so I can read about my wanderings if I forget.

Thanks for reading my stuff. I know you do.

Image: 

Which is More Disgusting? Daemons or Cannibals?

Lucifer: Just another Angel, only fallen

Just days after my essay, “Religious Freedom for All or Some” (1) was published, the following article appeared on the cnsnews.com website (2). The gist is this: A Satanist church has booked a Satanic Black Mass to take place at the Oklahoma City Civic Center on Sept. 21. The Catholic Church feels threatened and outraged and wants the event canceled. The Civic Center says it is a public forum, and therefore anyone can rent it for any lawful purpose. And don’t forget that the Supreme Court of the Land has said that religious practices are lawful. End of argument. The snippets below are from the cnsnews.com article with my comments in brackets:

Oklahoma City Archbishop Paul Coakley condemned the proposed anti-Catholic ritual on July 1 and called on city officials there to cancel the event.  [the archbishop wants to hold Catholic rituals, but doesn’t want other religions to hold their rituals]

Leonine Exorcism prayer. “On that day, I, in the Cathedral, and every priest in his own parish, will pray a special prayer written by Pope Leo XIII for the defense of the Church against the attack of the Enemy and his apostate angels.” [this is a prayer to exorcise deamons, in this case, to protect against the Deamon Baphomet, or Satan, and to get the Civic Center to cancel the show]

Naju after bread turned to bloody flesh

Pope Francis elevates the Eucharist, or communion host, which Catholics believe is, once consecrated, the actual body and blood of Jesus Christ under the appearance of bread. [and in other news, the Catholic Church practices anthropophagy, or, cannibalism, which many people find disgusting and would like to outlaw]

So who is the hypocrite here? Watch your answer, it may be wrong.

1.http://searchesworld.blogspot.com/2014/08/religious-freedom-for-all-or-some.html

2. http://cnsnews.com/news/article/michael-w-chapman/catholic-bishop-stop-satanic-mass-orgiastic-ritual-pain-and

Image: http://www.zbrushcentral.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=54303

Image: http://www.ourlady.ca/pictures/najumouth.jpg

Cars, Dads and Wives.

Not Mine, but Close. 

A commentator on NPR (1) yesterday was talking about boys bonding with fathers with a car as the, no pun intended, vehicle. Got me thinking about my generation, pre-boomer, high school in the 50’s, and my first car at 12. That was a 1933 Pontiac 4 door sedan with running boards and duel spare tires on the front fenders. Straight 8. Eighty horsepower. Of course I couldn't drive it on public roads, so the farm roads were my world. I made an oval track on about an acre and raced around it for hours. Turned it on its side a few times but nothing major. Of course no seat belts or other safety gizmos. Mechanical brakes. Five gallon gas can in the back seat for a gas tank. Unsecured. I was lucky I didn’t burn myself to death.

Then, when I was 16, I bought the 49 Ford convertible. Saved up from paper routes and produce boy at Penn Fruit, and paid $250 for it. Beautiful hot rod.  V8, Crestline chrome, Carson top, custom grill, custom interior in black and white, skirts, nosed, decked, lowered, duel Stromberg 97s, milled heads, Mallory ignition and wicked pipes. Red. I spent days of time working on it. Over the next three years I replace or rebuilt 9 transmissions, 3 rear ends and 3 drive shafts. The drive train was just not up to the power delivered by the reworked engine, or the drag racing moron behind the wheel. But Oh My did I have fun in that car. Drunk driving, girl hunting, buddy racing, rumbling with a few gangs from out of town, driving to Florida, pissing off Mr. Canosa, the Assistant Principal at Roslyn High.

Driving, always driving. But no bonding. My father knew cars, but worked almost all the time. He would occasionally offer some advice, usually good, but never got with me on a project. We worked some together in the summers, and fished together some as well. We had one of those father-son things that didn't include much touching. So I could relate to the guy on the radio about cars, but not about dads. Still, I had a kick-ass car and a good father. When the Ford finally gave up in 1959, he helped me buy a 1959 Chevy 2 door post coupe. Basic with a 283 V8. Blue. Good transportation but never the “flash” of the Ford.

Same year, model and color. Not mine.

From there, the auto odyssey moved to a series of rebuilds that included a ’61 Ford convertible, a TR-3, a ’64 Thunderbird, a Datsun 1500, a ’66 Dodge Charger, a ’68 Roadrunner, a ’66 Olds coupe, a ’34 Ford Vicky, a ’49 Packard and a ’52 Plymouth, not in that order. Probably a few others I have forgotten.

But none ever approached or surpassed the ’49 convertible. One of these days I may get another oldie and play mechanic. But age is a funny thing. Desires and wants sometimes are transient, and what seems like a good idea today seems a bit silly tomorrow. But Sally never really knows what I may come home with. The beauty of Sally is this: whatever car I might come home with, she would accept, if not love, and what more could a man ask? Thing is, with Sally, what else do I really need?

Image:http://image.streetrodderweb.com/f/images/10979708+w195/0812sr_44_z+goodguys_ppg_nationals+1949_ford_convertible.jpg
Image:
http://www.boldride.com/image/http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8514/8504948408_a1e028c194_o.jpg?width=1024&height=770

1. http://www.npr.org/2014/08/05/338099738/complicated-cars-put-a-dent-in-an-old-father-son-ritual

Religious Freedom for All or Some?

One Logo of the United Church of Christ

Should a church and a pastor have the Religious Right to perform any ceremony within their own religion? Of course, you say. Shouldn’t the Catholic Church have the right to perform Exorcisms of Daemons, even though many people don’t believe in daemons? Shouldn't a Baptist Church have the right to perform Submersion Baptism even though it is potentially dangerous and could lead to infection and heart attack? Shouldn't many Christian churches have the right practice communion when they openly state they are feeding human body parts  to people which is illegal?

Of course, you say. So what about the United Church of Christ in North Carolina (1) that wants to perform their Sacrament of Marriage ? Of course, you say. Ah, but they want to marry same sex couples, and the State of North Carolina forbids the marriage of same sex couples.

See the problem? Religious Freedom either is or it isn’t a Right. If it is a right for some, it is a right for all. If not for all, then not for any. This is a very sticky problem for people with fundamentalist mind sets. They (maybe you?) cleave to the belief that only they have the right to do and say what they want, but others do not. They use their versions of Holy Scriptures to support their opinions and distortions.

Well people, it is probably time to get to the point of the Constitution and the Guarantee of Religious Freedom. Either it is, or it isn’t. And, the Supreme Court of the Land  said it is. Therefore it is. Period. And that means that backward and ignorant states like North Carolina are living in a bubble of prejudice. And that bubble will break, thanks in part to the United Church of Christ. Right on Brothers. If I were a believer, I would certainly follow you guys. Thanks.

Image: http://www.gsucc.org/GoodShepardChurch/files/ae/ae215ec3-b89f-4ed2-84ff-f5c4ad5d4586.jpg

1. http://www.thestate.com/2014/05/02/3423008/united-church-of-christ-sues-over.html

Retire: To Tire Again or, First Magnitude BullShit!

You know as in “Hey Babe, I am gonna re-tire the truck”.  Right? Yeah, maybe somewhere. Or maybe to get TIRED again as in “Hey Babe, after all them ribs and beer, I am tired as a whipped possum, again.”

No, here is the actual derivation:

“1590s, "act of retreating," also "act of withdrawing into seclusion," (1) So, when you “retire” you withdraw into seclusion, right? You leave the field. You retreat. You vanish without a trace. Well partners, that is really BullShit. Of the first magnitude.

Having worked and hopefully enjoyed most of the time doing so, you change directions and move out! You get busy with all kinds of crap you didn't have time for during the “career” years. You sleep less, work more, play more, move more (if you know what’s good for you) and you just plain boogie. Retreat my ass. I had a friend many years ago, Gus, who had a simple motto: Always move your piece forward. Another way to put it is to never give out and never give in, but, you can change your mind (2).

Changing your mind is what retirement is, or should be, about. For an entire career, decisions are made within the framework of the career. Retirement equals no career and no framework. So decide one day to go to the beach, and on the way change your mind and have a burger and a pitcher of IPA instead. Now that, pals, is what Retirement is all about.

BRING IT ON, BABY, BRING IT ON!!!

Image: http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/keep-calm-and-retire-on-3.png

1. http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=retirement 

2. http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/billyjoel/shesalwaysawoman.html

Tom Petty: Fraud? Not a CHANCE!!!

        

“You just want to be as wonderful as everyone thinks you are and you know you're not.” (1)

What the Hell? Tom Petty? One of the most enduring performers in the last 40 years is insecure? Yes, and he is not alone. Years ago I wrote a little essay on the Fraud Hypothesis (2) and came out as a fraud. Hey, it’s Ok to be this kind of Fraud. Almost everybody has these moments of “if they only knew” insecurity.

The NPR interview with Melissa Block touched on a lot of aspects of Petty’s career, and if you are a fan you should go to the link below. His line about knowing you are not as wonderful as they think got me straight back to the Fraud Hypothesis. And I thought it was worth a reprise of the idea. And here is why: You are not a fraud unless you actually misrepresent yourself. And since you mostly don’t you are a normal person with normal anxieties who is just getting by. Nothing wrong with that.

So, don’t worry that you will be “found out”. Just go in with the attitude that you will do the best you can do, and be the best you can be, and don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” once in a while. That really gives you credibility, and proves that you are not a fraud.

1. http://www.npr.org/2014/08/04/336608432/tom-petty-on-stage-fright-cheap-speakers-and-george-harrison  

2. http://searchesworld.blogspot.com/2009/10/fraud-fake.html

Image: http://www.culturebully.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/tom-petty-heartbreakers-mojo-cover.jpg

Israel: Born in Fire and Desire

Rochelle R. was her name. I met her in 1959 when I joined the Russian Club at the University of Miami. She was a remarkable woman in many ways. A former member of both Irgun and Haganah (these Jewish organizations were sometime allies and sometime antagonists) she was by her own admission a freedom fighter for Israel. She made no apologies for her activities though often said she regretted the young soldiers she helped to kill. In the “Mandate” it was illegal for Jews to carry weapons, so one or her tasks was to carry guns or grenades under her skirts, knowing that the British soldiers were too polite to search a woman’s legs. She had a British soldier boyfriend/lover who was killed in this hell of confusion and oppression, and she never forgot him. Her ethnic roots were Russian and she arrived in America in the 50s. She was fluent in Russian, Hebrew, French, Spanish, Yiddish and English. She was married to another Israeli and had two daughters.  She tutored me in Russian and Israel.

My friend Rochelle might be in this photo of Begin with Irgun

Israel has been fighting for survival from the days before it was Israel. The desire of the Jewish people for a homeland burned then as now, and thwarted at every turn, still came to pass. During the constant fight for freedom from the “Mandate”, millions of Jews were murdered (along with my gypsy family) and millions more were displaced. They fought on and the desire for freedom never wavered. And they fight on today. Early in the history of these people the philosophy, more a doctrine really, of “Active Defense” became operational. It still is. Everybody in the Middle East knows this truism: If you mess with Israel, there WILL be consequences.

Which brings me to this point: When rockets flew from Gaza and rained on the land of Israel, everybody knew what would come next. Hamas knew. Israel knew. The whole world knew. Active Defense. Like everyone with a heart, I mourn for the dead innocents of all aggressions. In Syria. In the Ukraine. In Gaza and in Israel. The blame game is a losing game to play. The real game is actions and counter actions, and that is the reality in Israel.

The people of Israel are the descendants of Rochelle, her husband and daughters, and thousands of other freedom fighters, and of the indomitable Jews of the world. If the world has learned nothing else it should have learned this: If you mess with Israel, there WILL be consequences.

Image:Begin with Irgun Members: 1948.  http://kresy-siberia.org/hom/files/Begin-with-Irgun-members-1948_public-domain-1024x682.jpg

Image: http://freedominfo.org/wp-content/uploads/flags/israel800.jpg