My “Coming Out Story”

Our sons and their spice

It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Sally and I were sitting at the dining room table with our oldest son. He was getting ready to go back to his place, a couple of hours away, having spent the holiday with us. He said in a somewhat nervous voice “I have something to tell you”. Pause. “I’m gay”. I looked at Sally and said “And - - -“. And then one of us started the conversation by saying something like, yes, we know. He may have been a little surprised. He looked a bit like it. I asked if he had a steady and the said yes, I am seeing someone. I said in return that any partner of his would be welcome to join the family but there was a deal breaker. He looked suspicious and a maybe a little resigned.
Gays are rejected by a lot of people in their lives. Friends who didn’t know and can’t accept them as they are. Strangers who hate them but have no idea who they are. Religions that think they choose their life in some blasphemic statement. Families who are frightened or ignorant and cannot get past their own feelings of hate or guilt or whatever. And parents like the Dad that wrote the letter (1) that prompted this essay.
So our son was probably prepared to be disappointed while at the same time knowing that we were loving parents and liberal to the core. I dropped the bomb. Yes, I said there is a deal breaker. We don’t care what religion or color or age or occupation he may be. We do want him to be a loving and caring man. But the deal breaker is this: I don’t want him here if he is a Republican.

Silence, then a smile then hugs and some tears of joy. We have a fine Democrat son-in-law. Loving and caring. Matt did all right. So did John. So did we.

Image: Author

1. http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/fathers-hateful-letter-to-gay-son-after-coming-out-goes-viral/news/2012/08/07/45756