The Knack – and How to Get It

When this great film came out in 1965 I was in the middle of another identity crisis and needed something to get me started on the road to social contact again. I watched Michael Crawford learn to overcome his shyness by using a sort of talisman: a pair of leather gloves. It worked for him and I thought “Hmmm. Maybe. Just maybe.”

Now, finding leather gloves in Miami isn’t that easy, especially in the summer. And I wanted black thin ones at that. I went on a quest and eventually found a pair of comfortable calf gloves with just the right look and fit. I put them on, hopped on my motorcycle and BOOM!!, a new man emerged. I found that I didn’t have to keep them on to have them work. Just show up wearing them, carefully remove them and put them in a pocket. Kind of like a blankie or binkie. I mean it really worked. Even I was amazed at me. Then one fateful day I lost them. Or more precisely couldn’t find them in time. And to my even greater amazement nothing changed. The inoculation held.

The next iconic crutch I thought I needed was a white lab coat. My first full time job as a professor included lectures in a very large lecture hall. And me without my gloves. So, I put on a white lab coat and marched into the hall, confident but scared. It went well. I thought the coat gave me a cachet I needed to be “the man”. Of course I was wrong again, and after a year or two forgot to wear the coat to class and was fully in control and respected.

So the point? I am guessing that generations of students that have been in my classes would never have guessed that underneath the calm and self-assured surface lurked an insecure soul. I don’t know how “normal” this kind of behavior is (my son-in-law could and hopefully will let me know) because I have never discussed it with anybody(except Sally of course). I suspect it is not unusual. And BTW, what prompted this is a Beatles song. I was listening to oldies the other day and the line “I get by with a little help from my friends” struck a chord. A thought came unbidden: “My friends in those days were a pair of gloves and a lab coat.” Of course I had some human friends too.