Woody 7.0 Released This Morning!!!

News Flash!

The much anticipated “Woody 7.0” was released this morning at 12:01 am. While not a totally new platform, many bugs have been corrected and some features have been modified for improvement. The debugging process uncovered problems in the following clusters: Motivation, attitude and common sense. Unfortunately the new release will only work within the existing hardware, leading to some limitations. For example, memory and processor upgrades could not be included because the existing architecture has no expansion slots, and upgrade boards are not available for the existing aging slots. Likewise, ports for external inputs such as audio and video are limited by existing pass-through speed and cannot be reconfigured.
Motivation: Flagging motivation in the areas of physical fitness, diet and proactive initiation of various activities has been improved by the addition of a module that tweaks the conscience when levels drop below the preset levels. Improved performance in these vital areas will generally impact the operations of other sections of Woody 7.0 by clearing choke points in hardware architecture and the processing system.
Attitude: Analysis of the attitude code indicated a general trend toward realistic analysis of input, a situation which leads to the diminishing of positive response. Additional code has been added that filters inputs to soften the downside and focus more attention on the upside. For example, where yesterday the Gulf oil spill was viewed as totally FUBAR, this morning the vast number of jobs created by the unfortunate accident overcomes the angst, and positive attitude results.
Common Sense: This module has been reconfigured to be more robust. Reliance on internal experience and knowledge has once again been give priority over reliance on external opinion. An example of this would be a simple engine repair that went spectacularly wrong when so-called expert opinion was allowed to trump instinct.
Significant gains can be found in wisdom and new knowledge, although processor limitations sometimes make accessing these somewhat slow. Recognition of falsehood and truth routines have been modified to reduce the “gray” area in between, and significantly increase the bullshit alarm sensitivity.
A final surprising (to some) strengthening can be found in the spiritual sector, where new investigations into the spirit world are gaining over skepticism. Religion is still a null value, however, and should not be confused with spiritualism.
Continued work on Woody7.0 will result in culmination of the spectacular and now anticipated Woody 8.0 release.

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