The other week I had a vivid dream that showed me my death in the future. The landscape was solid white and disappeared over the horizon. There was a tiny black figure near the horizon and I wondered what it was. An unknown narrator answered that the distance away from me was the future and the figure was placed at the exact time of my death. I wondered if that time was fixed or could be moved, and the narrator said it could be moved up or back by all sorts of things, but it never went away. In other words, my simulacrum would always be there ahead of me, waiting for me to catch up with it. As we get closer it gets larger until finally it is the same size as we are and when we meet it, we die. There the dream ended.
The other afternoon I was laying down for a nap or rest when suddenly I heard a snapping sound like an electric spark. I looked around and found myself in a totally black space with an ordinary looking man standing in from of me. I said "What the f*** was that?", and he said "a heart attack". "A heart attack?" "Yes, you just died of a heart attack.". Calmly I said "and who would you be?"
"God." I asked him why he looked like an ordinary man dressed in casual clothes and he explained that he varied his look to make the person he was talking to more comfortable. He asked me to watch carefully, and then he changed into Shiva, Ganesh, Mithra, Thor, Zeus, an unrecognizable but very large and scary dragon of some kind, and then back to the man. Impressive. I told him that dying was ok, but the timing was not good. I told him that I knew that he knew Sally, and that she would not be able to cope with this sudden loss, that it would be cruel beyond feeling and that he should reconsider taking me. We talked for a bit and he said that we had better come to closure because my body was nearly at the point of physical death. Finally he said "OK, go back. I'll take care of the damage, but remember, you owe me. And I won't do this again." I thanked him and the next thing I knew - back on the bed.
So what exactly was that? Stuffed if I know. But I'll tell you this. If that really was god, and I really did talk to him, he is an OK guy. And I hope that my simulacrum has moved way off on the horizon.
I looked, but couldn't find the white landscape. Maybe tonight.
This is completely beside the point, but: with all your good Christian friends, neighbors, and students who've been diligently praying over the years for Jesus to speak to you -- as He has apparently been speaking to them, on account of their direct and personal relationship -- so He could set you on the straight and narrow... I would have thought that when the King of Kings *did* appear to you in answer to all those folks' prayers, He'd have been more. Well. Jesus-y. Cause I don't think that the Baptists have been praying for Shiva or the Great Earth Dragon to have a chat with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm just sayin'. Maybe those folks need to get more specific.
Another unrelated side note: when I went to post this, the secret word was "bilea." I'm not sure if that's a word, but it should be.
Yep, not at all Jesus-y. But was this an appearence or a delusional state?
ReplyDeleteAccording to the OED, bilea isn't a word, but you are right, it should be. Maybe a foreign tongue?
Mr. Google found it. A "lac".
http://outdoors.webshots.com/album/191496178HaaAng
Also someones name.
I think Matt is right; this is not what the Baptists have been wishing for at all. I however think this could have been "all" of your Gods...we are bombarded with images, some accepted others not so well.......no one knows which one is REAL....although probably was a delusional state...what have you been up to sir?
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading my ravings, gretchen. I have not been up to enough, that's the problem.
ReplyDelete